“No. You are not being punished. God loves you!”
In 2014, Teresa Whittaker was experiencing her best year professionally when her real estate career was finally reaping what she sowed. After pouring years of herself into the industry, things were finally taking hold and producing.
Little did she know that in that same year, her full-time career would change from real estate agent to full-time caregiver. “The year my life changed forever,” she states.
Teresa’s mom, Irene, started to show some early signs of Alzheimers in January 2013. By June of that year, there was a formal diagnosis. At the same time, Teresa’s dad was struggling with health issues. This prompted Teresa, an only child, to visit her parents weekly to check up on them. At the time, she was living over an hour away in Varina.
During the months of July and August 2013, Teresa started to notice a drastic weight loss in her father. And when she visited with him on the evening of October 1, 2013, it was the last time he said, “I love you” to her when she left. He died that night.
The last thing Teresa ever imagined, was to have to move back in to her childhood home in Powhatan. Her life in Varina was ending. She left behind a crumbling marriage, a son and his family that were minutes away, friends and her business. Her mom needed her.
Teresa was a daddy’s girl. Losing him was hard. And now she was caring for her mom, whom she was losing to Alzheimers.
Through her tears and screams, her question to God was, “Why? What have I done to deserve this?” She was taught growing up as a young girl that you must be a good girl or God will punish you. So naturally as she left her life in Varina behind, she felt as though she was being punished for various transgressions over the years.
Teresa was always a Christian. But soon learned that she had never really dug deep into God’s word. Once she started attending New Life and got involved in Life Groups and mission trips, she started to dig deeper. She was growing spiritually.
One time while in her Life Group, Teresa was vulnerable enough to share with her group that she felt she was being punished by God. She must have done something wrong for God to shut down her life in Varina and make her become the full-time caregiver for her mom. Her Life Group Leader stopped her mid-sentence and said, “No. You are not being punished. God loves you!” For the first time ever, the feeling of guilt she held onto so tightly, started to crumble.
For years now, Teresa has continued learning and growing in a Life Group. But it was the series “Seven Realities for Experiencing God,” that turned Teresa’s life upside down. During the chapter, “Crisis of Belief”, Teresa learned that there are often times that God allows circumstances in our lives that we can’t handle on our own. He wants us to depend on Him and know who He truly is. It is during these times that we often experience a crisis of belief. And we must decide what we really believe about God.
For Teresa, it was the question of do I serve a God who punishes, or a God who loves? She will tell you now, a God who loves.
Teresa is a fixer, a nurturer. She is happiest when others need her. But through all of this, she is learning that she must depend on God. Not her own abilities to navigate this journey.
Her favorite Bible verse is, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Teresa’s new goal is to live out her mission. She understands now that to care for her mom is her mission at this point in time, not her punishment. She must rely heavily on God during this journey. Through the series of “…Experiencing God,” she has been given a peace. “I can truly say I feel touched by God to be in this position (to care for mom) now.”
“I believe I am in training for an even bigger mission,” states Teresa. “I want to preach the word, participate in mission projects and help others that are embarking on the journey of caregiver.”
Sometimes our circumstances lead us to a “crisis of belief.” However, God never calls us to anything he won’t enable and equip us to do. It is during these times we must remember to trust and obey. God is faithful to His promises.
